The Facts of Wife

There are no words to really describe the feeling you get when you see a positive pregnancy test after months of failure. The day I got mine had started off pretty ordinarily. I left for work with a familiar pain in my stomach that meant I would soon be on yet another cycle of trying. I ran around and lifted heavy boxes all day, ate the best brie and cranberry baguette and picked up a bottle of wine to share with M over dinner. I still have the wine unopened in our kitchen cupboard.

I don’t know what possessed me to buy a first response test on my way home. I certainly felt like myself and my stomach cramps certainly felt like I was out of the game, even if they were a few days late. But I also had the slightest queasiness (like when you’ve eaten too much) which for me was enough of a reason I guess.

Initially I was going to test the next morning, I told myself the result would be more accurate, I also wanted to save myself the pain of staring at yet another negative result. But curiosity got the better of me and I quietly sloped off to the bathroom with M none the wiser in the next room. I waited the full three minutes recommended before I could bring myself to check the stick and there they were - two lines. Two! There had never been two before. I checked the box instructions, two definitely meant pregnant, especially two pink lines. I couldn’t bring myself to move from staring at the result for fear it may change but suddenly I realised I needed Mat to confirm it for me, so with shaking hands I picked up the result and burst into our living room, thrusting the result in his face and saying ‘I think I’m pregnant!’

Mat is the calm thinker in our relationship and I think he was a little doubtful of my proclamation. He asked to see the box and once he had time to read the result himself I saw his face turn through disbelief, excitement and shock. Then he went a little pale and had to take a sit down!

We spent the rest of the night, talking about the changes to come, and our dreams for this little life inside me. ‘Our baby’ was no longer a fantasy, but finally very real and starting to make their presence known, and we couldn’t wait to get to know them in return.  We decided to keep the news to ourselves for a little while, our happy, beautiful little secret. x